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Libby's Journal - September

September 8

We finally got some more rain last night. Yesterday afternoon was one of those days when you can tell it is getting ready to rain but you don't know if it actually will or not. It had been hot most of the day but then around sundown the wind started picking up and there started to be heat lightning. For me, heat lightning is like rainbows -- it doesn't happen very often so when it does you should stop and enjoy it.

So me and Mona sat outside together on the cushioned chaise lounge chair which is designed for one person but we manage to fit on it together. We had been in and out of the pool all afternoon and we were both naked as we cuddled on the chair watching the heat lightning and feeling the breeze. Then I felt a raindrop on my skin, and then another and another. They were big fat drops and smelled of dust. I got up and jumped up and down and danced and Mona did too and then I started running and she chased after me and I ran out to the field of buffalo grass which is wonderfully soft and you never have to mow it and it is so soft to lay down in. Mona grabbed me by the hips and swung me to the ground and we rolled partway down the hill in the rain. I'm not gonna describe exactly what we did next, but it was Mona's favorite position for Serious Sex. She was ravenously into The Moment, but it was really raining hard now and I had to put my hands on my face to keep it out of my nose. And then ka-BLAM there was a huge bolt of lightning that was way too close for my comfort and because it was so close the boom was simultaneous. Well, that kinda broke the mood and we ran back to the house.

This morning it was still very wet outside and I went out early to check my gardens. Some flowers had gotten beaten down and I gently lifted them up again. Over in my vegetable gardens I have a stone birdbath that I had neglected to fill and I knew it was bone dry yesterday, but now it was filled with rainwater. I put my fingers in it and then crossed myself, and when I touched my chest I felt a drip of water roll from my fingers down my stomach to my leg and I just felt so blessed to be alive and to be exactly where I was on this beautiful planet.

Someone asked me how come I cross myself and what do I mean when I do it. Good question. I do not believe Jesus was sent here to die in order to "save" me in the John 3:16 manner. I believe Jesus was a mortal man who somehow achieved a Connection with The Spirit -- the same connection anyone of us might make. I believe the mistaken theology of "salvation" is the biggest mistake we've made in trying to understand Jesus and "God." But I was raised Catholic and I grew up crossing myself, and that familiar ritual still connects me to The Spirit, but not because of its reference to crucifixion. In the same way I feel connected to the Spirit community through the Eucharist, but I don't believe the bread and wine are Christ's body and blood (which is kind of a freaky thing to believe). To me, they are symbols of OUR body and OUR blood because we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

My garden is on it's late-summer explosion of abundance. Every day I eat food from my gardens -- tomatoes, green beans, watermelon, pesto, cucumbers, squash, etc. The pumpkin vines are sprawling everywhere. My green beans needed harvesting again and I climbed in between the wire fencing that they grow on, which is taller than me. Whenever Mona helps me pick greenbeans she gets all itchy from the leaves and has to take a shower, but they don't bother me. I guess it is part of my "Amazing Nature Girl" powers because things like that never bother me. Bugs don't bite me, I don't get poison ivy, I don't get itchy. I rarely even have to use mosquito spray in the summer.

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September 13

Whenever I'm asked what living American I admire most I almost always say Christopher Reeve because of how amazingly he has dealt with being a quadriplegic. I grew up watching him in those Superman movies and when he had his horseback riding accident it was the same year I totaled my car and walked away unhurt.

I deserved to be paralyzed because I was being so stupid. I was going thru a very manic period -- and not taking my medication -- and was driving super-fast on a windy road. I coulda killed several people not just myself. Yet, by grace, I was not even hurt.

Today I read that Reeve has regained some sensation in his body and can slightly move his fingers and his feet. He can feel the touch of a pinprick on his skin all over his body. The doctors say they have never seen this before and have no idea how much farther -- if at all -- this might go. Apparently the reason behind it is how hard he has worked all these years, making his body exercise even tho he cannot make it move. They use electrical stimulation to make his legs move on a stationary bicycle and so on.

Still my Superman

The theory is that they are teaching the remaining nerves in his spinal cord to do the things the others used to do -- like how people can lose whole sections of their brain and the rest of it kinda takes over. No one knew this would work, but he put in the effort anyways, day in and day out, determined not to let this beat him.

If you have my Dreams Page (and if you made it past all the baby stuff without nodding off) there is a section about my dreams about healing people. I have often imagined I had that power but that I did my healing in secret. So in my fantasy I orchestrate meeting Reeve as if by accident as he is on his way somewhere down the sidewalk in his wheelchair, attended by people of course. And I ask if he'd pose for a picture with me and as I kneel down smiling next to his wheelchair I put my hand on his back and my magic healing power goes into him. Nothing happens at first, but then overnight his spinal cord slowly grows back together and he wakes up able to move his arms and legs.

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September 22

It is officially Autumn now and for the past couple weeks the mornings have been cool, though it still has been warming up by noon. We are entering the time of year that separates the fair-weather naturist from us die-hard types. I am not "tough" about too many things, but The Amazing Nature Girl can handle a little cool weather.

Eventually I will start wearing my sweaters and sweatshirts, but we are not there yet. Today was a reminder though. it was not just cold in the morning (in the low 50s) but did not warm up all that much in the middle of the day (mid 60s), but I was fine. I spent much of the morning making pesto, and I made two or three trips to the garden to cut basil, which I washed off in the kitchen sink and hung to dry on the clothesline. When the first batch was dry enough I took it inside and broke off all the leaves into my food processor. My thumbnails are still dark green from all the leaf-pinching. I love the smell of crushed basil! I had the radio station on to my favorite station and danced and sang along with the music while I worked.

Last year our pool was not operational until August (long story) and so this summer was the first time we've really been able to enjoy it -- and since Andrea and Dana also had one put in when they built their house we have had the luxury that of the four houses on our property, two have pools, so we have had numerous pool parties at one house or the other all summer.

And when it was a pool party I would not be the only one nude for a change. When we walk over to their places, I rarely wear anything unless there are going to be other people there that I don't know well enough. But even when it is just our group Mona nearly always will be dressed -- except when it was a pool party. Even then, of course, she usually wears something for the walk over and then ditches it after we arrive. A couple of times this summer she did not do that and we would walk naked together past the gardens and across the field of soft buffalo grass to Andrea and Dana's. Once in a while, if we were bringing something that would be awkward to carry, we took one of the cars, and there is one time in particular that sticks in my mind because of the lovely image of it. We were going to drive because of what we were bringing, but it was a pool party on a hot afternoon and i was carrying the tray of whatever it was out from the kitchen to the driveway and Mona was waiting for me in the car, top down, naked in the driver's seat. Her skin was so white against the black upholstery and her hair was so red in the sun and I could see every freckle on her body as it reflected the light.

But that sort of thing only happened a couple of times, and she is such a "weather-weenie" that she won't do that at all unless it is quite warm, and since she is fair-skinned she does not like to just lay around in the sun. Even in the pool she needs to be doing something. When Andrea is around they usually throw around a nerf football or something. At Andrea's pool they had a volleyball net set up so the four or six of us would play that.

But now Fall is beginning and I love this time of year also, the changing of the leaves and the smell of October.

Saturday evening we had a big storm. There were tornadoes not far from us, but in this area it was just really heavy rain and high winds. Sunday morning it was cold but sunny and I walked around the property inspecting my remaining plants for damage. and as i looked up the hill towards the little house that Jack had been working on, something looked different and I walked up there.

The treehouse tree had fallen in the wind. We call it the "treehouse tree" even tho there was no treehouse in it, but when Jack and I had talked about the baby thing and him living there on the property at least part of the time and being there to help raise our child, and we picked out that tree as the one that would be best for a treehouse someday.

But there it was toppled over and broken. I sat down on it and cried for a long time, shivering in the wind, and thinking about all the things that probably will never happen.

* * * * *

September 26

Yesterday was me and Mona's third wedding anniversary. We celebrated by going into the city to stay at a fancy hotel for the night, and not just any fancy hotel but one at which they had Wednesday night ballroom dancing scheduled. We both love to dance, all kinds of dancing from ballroom waltzes to crazy, sweaty party dancing (which is best done naked when you can manage it).

So anyways we checked into the hotel and got all dressed up in our current favorite evening gowns -- the same ones we wore last January in Chicago, and our jewelry and makeup. Altho I am much more inclined day-to-day to wear dresses (when I hafta wear anything at all that is) and a little makeup, Mona almost never does either. On a workday she will just tie her hair back in a pony tail and wear pants suits or khakis with a blazer or something like that. When a dressy occasion comes along, lots of "pants-oriented" lesbians prefer to wear tuxedos or some other non-frilly equivalent, but not Mona. On those rare occasions Mona does the whole femme bit. She lets me do her hair, which I love to do because it is so thick and healthy and RED, and she puts on makeup and jewelry and she wears dresses that show all her lovely white shoulders and cleavage (Mona has cleavage when she tries).

She knows this makes me happy and part of it is indulging me in something that she enjoys but could easily do without. But anyways, so we got ourselves all done up and had a lovely light dinner in the hotel dining room, and then we went into the ballroom where they had an actual orchestra doing "big band" music. Some people find this incredibly hokey, but I really like it because it is so formal and elegant and I love dances where you get to hold your partner and move around the floor together as one entity. Especially the waltz -- I love the whirling feeling, twirling in circles as we dance in a larger circle and everything behind us blurs into the background. And sometimes they will play a rhumba or cha-cha and we know how to do those also (we took a ballroom dancing class a few years ago and learned all those). People who have never done this roll their eyes when I talk about it, but whenever they DO try it they usually enjoy it too.

As usual, the crowd tended to be a bunch of old people, but I don't mind that. They are cute and it makes me happy to see couples in their 70s and 80s dancing together like they did back during the war or whatever. Now and then a stiff-lipped old broad will give us a disapproving stare, but I always smile back with my sweetest, most sincere smile and I ask God to bless this person, and sometimes as we twirl around the floor again I see the same face, not looking so unkind this time around.

Two women dancing together aren't necessarily gay, of course, since most men our age are dull slugs when it comes to dancing, but with me and Mona I'm sure people can tell because our love radiates from us, and also we get a little smootchy around the edges. During truly slow dances I put my face in her neck and close my eyes, smelling her skin.

One thing about old people -- they get tired early. The band only played from 7 to 9:30. We drifted away, stopped two or three times by little old couples who stopped us to say that it is nice to see young people appreciating this, and one old lady told us we made a lovely couple and that she wished she was young again, and living today. I knew what she meant.

We went up to our room and undressed each other and had some very lovely sex, after which we were thinking of having a bath but we really wanted some chocolate first. So we threw on clothes (not our fancy dresses but the skimpy things we'd worn driving in) and went down the elevator to the lobby to find a vending machine. We found one, got our fix of Hershey's with almonds and while we were eating it we walked around the hotel seeing if there was anything interesting going on, which there wasn't. But at one of the glass entrances we could see across the street there was an interesting strip of neon lights and people on the sidewalk and party music. Hmmmm.

We were both barefoot and not dressed warm at all (this is the time of year when it is warm during the day but cool at night) but we pushed out the revolving door to check things out. Sure enough, right across the street from the rear entrance of the hotel there was a little side street of bars and clubs. In fact we recognized that strip and had been there, but did not realize it was so close to the hotel. So we walked across the street barefoot, braless and dressed as if it were 90 degrees. I'm pretty impervious to cold myself, and I go barefoot whenever I can get away with it, but Mona was not used to either and she was shivering by the time we got to the place that had the best music blasting out of it. Mona had her coin purse with enough money for the cover charge, but neither of us had ID and the guy at the door asked for it. We flirted our way past him (feeling maybe a little disappointed that we'd gotten away with it so easily, since maybe he was really thinking shit they ain't been under 21 for a while).

Anyways, we were in and there was dance music and we didn't even bother looking for a place to sit cause we didn't come there to do no sitting. We were probably there for an hour and danced the whole time, which I found very sexy cause Mona had originally been wearing a bra with that little outfit, but had not put it on for the candy-hunt, and now she was quite bouncy as she danced. Which reminded me of our first date, which have written about on my Mona page. Also, this was largely an African-American crowd and the music was soul dance music and the couples dancing around us were pretty darned sexual in the way they held each other and rubbed their various well-dressed body parts against each other. So that gave us license to do the same, and being naturally talented dancers we were able to do all the same moves, with Mona doing the guy parts.

Well we danced until we were very sweaty and I wanted to stop and get a glass of ice water, but Mona said it was time to go. I was disappointed at first because I wanted to stay, but then I could tell by her face what she was thinking. We stepped outside into the cold air and I swear you could see the steam coming off of us like two horses in winter. I love getting sweaty-hot from dancing and going outside when it is cold, because you don't feel the cold, or I guess you do, but it does not bother you at all, it feels wonderful especially if you are naked, which of course we could not be at that moment but that image crossed my mind and I imagined us walking naked there downtown among the crowds and the neon and the headlights from the cars. Some people stared at us almost as if we were naked, because we were barefoot and dressed so skimpily in the cold night air.

We got back to the hotel, whooshed up the elevator and were back in our room getting undressed. I knew Mona was all worked up again because of the sexy dancing and I was all worked up too because of my little fantasy and Mona was looking at me in a way that meant business, and she kept her eyes on mine as she reached into the pocket of the suitcase and produced . . . Mr. Microphone.

I try not to write too explicitly here on my journal pages, but if you have read my Sex page you will know about Mr. Microphone and what his purpose in life is. So letís just say we were pretty occupied for another little while. And then we slept.

So anyways, we had a pretty nice anniversary.

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