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there's something about Dana

Andrea and Dana are two of our closest friends, and a very interesting couple. Andrea is six feet tall and built like an Olympic athlete (which she almost was). Dana is ballerina-sized and barely 100 pounds. She is blonde and cover-girl beautiful while also being, well . . . technically male.

Dana has not taken any hormonal drug treatments -- this is simply how God made her. I've seen her naked and she basically has the body of a pre-pubescent boy with just a hint of breast and womanly nipples. Unfortunately, she grew up in a conservative, isolated area and was raised as a boy.

Dana says back then she didn't know WHAT gender she was -- because she assumed there were only two choices. She felt like a girl and liked looking like a girl, but she also LIKED girls. And although she had almost no testosterone in her little body, she started getting erections, which she also liked.

As soon as she turned 18, Dana fled her hometown. College was not an option, but she was very smart and a self-taught software developer so she got a decent job in the big city and just tried to blend in. She continued to wear male clothing and no makeup, but she let her blonde hair grow lushly out and she started loosening up and allowing just a little of her naturally feminine mannerisms to show.

That's how we met -- she got hired at a little tech company where I did some graphic design work. It was a small company of about 50 people in a drafty old downtown warehouse with lots of exposed brick and industrial chic. On Dana's first day of work she still had short hair and wore a suit and tie she'd probably got in the boy's department.

When Mary, the CEO, was taking Dana around to the clusters of desks and introducing her, we all noticed that Mary used the male pronoun, like six times, in reference to Dana. So naturally, we were all wondering what did that mean exactly? The only logical answer was that Dana was biologically a totally hot chick who identified as male. The idea that Dana might already be biologically male did not even seem like a credible option.

Naturally, I immediately befriended the new person and started inviting her to lunch and then on her first Friday I bought her drinks at happy hour, and I learned her story, and it made me cry and we became great friends right off the bat.

Now, backing up to that first week Dana started, Andrea worked at the company also, as their main IT technician. She and I actually dated for a little while -- and yes, we had sex if you must know (I knew you were wondering). She squeaked by on my screening questions because she was initially evasive on the baby question. I was in a somewhat manic period and she is hard to resist in terms of physical attractiveness so we had a brief fling, but it was well over with by the time Dana came along.

Andrea had been on vacation the week that Dana started and didn't get the pronoun briefing. So the first Monday that she was back from vacation she sees there is a really cute new girl. Being head of IT, Andrea assigned herself the task of making sure that pretty new girl's laptop and network credentials had been set up properly. So she showed up at Dana's desk and spent an hour chatting her up while doing tasks that only needed a few minutes. She was subtly flirting with Dana -- wanting no doubt to get some hint of whether the adorable new girl might be lesbian, or at least curious.

Poor sweet Dana was instantly smitten, and she mistakenly believed that Andrea already knew that she was physically a male and was interested in her anyway. But she wasn't. Mary saw them talking and made an excuse why she needed Andrea to come fix something in her office. The only thing that needed fixed was that Mary had forgotten to clue Andrea in about Dana.

Romantically, that was kind of a show-stopper for Andrea at that point. She came around eventually, of course because -- spoiler alert -- they are together now. But at first, Andrea just couldn't relate to the situation at all. The only penises she had experience with were the ones made of rubber, and usually she was the one using it on the other girl. I will let one of them tell the full romantic story of their mutual wooing, but the short version is that Andrea fell in love and discovered that a human penis can fun -- if it is attached to a pretty girl instead of a dude.

During this time, Dana was belatedly making a mental adjustment of her own. Regardless of how she looked or even felt inside, she still considered herself male and would correct people's use of pronouns because she felt it would be deceptive of her to let people think she was female. Her reason for this was that, well, she did have a penis and did not want to get rid of it. She didn't want to change her body, so she didn't feel she had the "right" to consider herself female.

That summer we were briefly roommates. Although the apartment itself was crappy it had a fabulous deck-style balcony that got great sunlight. So naturally I was naked a lot and got her to lounge in the sun naked with me. We didn't have a sexual relationship, but became emotionally close and had great talks. At first, I avoided the topic of her sexual identity because she had made herself clear and I wanted to respect that. But as we talked about our lives it came up naturally and I just asked questions and let her talk it through. I don't want to claim credit (well, maybe a little), but that summer is when Dana came to the conclusion that she was a girl - and had always been a girl.

Somewhere in the middle of this period we were drinking vodka tonics in the sun, both of us nude, and I was telling her my fantasy in which I could go everywhere nude -- like to my job and the grocery store, etc. And she said that perhaps she would be better off if she lived in that imaginary universe of mine in which a person could just go nude all the time. Because then everyone would instantly know her secret, and she could act as feminine as she wanted without fearing that she was "fooling" people. She would never have actually done that of course because she is much too reserved (whereas I would do it in a heartbeat), but it is a VERY sexy image and I have reminded her of it since then -- and have shared it with Andrea

Nowadays, Dana wears dresses and Andrea buys her tiny, sexy, flimsy ones. Plus, she cajoles Dana into wearing only the dress and no undies. That's how I dress in public, of course, but if I get horny the worst thing that will happen is I may leave a damp spot on the upholstery. When we are all out to a club or party, everyone in our group knows Dana is going commando and we watch giggling as Andrea says and does things that she has learned might get a certain reaction from Dana. So if you ever see Dana at a party sitting down with her purse in her lap and blushing furiously, you will know that Andrea succeeded.

Dana has become remarkably open about talking about her sexuality, and so I am revealing no secret when I mention that because of her low testosterone levels she does not get erections as frequently or as easily as certain other penis-equipped humanoids (though the way some of my straight girlfriends talk, I'm not so sure that is true). Dana and Andrea seem to have a robust and healthy sex life that does not depend on erections happening. But since they sometimes DO happen, it is just a fun special moment and not something that either of them felt any pressure or anxiety over.

Although Dana and Andrea are, of course, a couple of unique individuals, I find myself wondering how the world would be different if they were not so unique. What if this was just how males and females were? What if the physically stronger and more dominant gender was the one with the vagina and the physically smaller and submissive one had the penis?

For one thing, there would be no such thing as rape (at least not the kind involving penises penetrating vaginas) because the stronger person could not force herself on the weaker person. Sexual intercourse (and impregnation) could only happen when actual seduction -- and consent -- take place. Imagine not ever having to fear sexual assault because it was basically non-existent.

I realize that most heterosexual women like their manly men just fine the way they are (well, almost), and as a lesbian I reckon I don't rightly have a dog in this hunt. But it's very intriguing to think about.

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